Say goodbye

You know I am nothing without you

To forget you, I try to meet someone

But it doesn’t work as it sounds
I try to sleep but I keep thinking about you as the sun rises

The pictures lying on that table
I realize there is only me whom to depend on, looking at them
I pretend nothing is wrong but it’s my rationalization

I don`t wanna say goodbye love.
When the cold wind blows, I get tears thinking about you
Do not run away over again.

We were good, we were happy
You said this is the last love
 If you know I am waiting for you until I die
Will you come back?

In case your phone number has changed
I go in and out to your mini-homepage
Many times a day
It looks like a breakup with my head
But it doesn’t with my mind
I know it won’t change...
Yes, to be honest, I got tired a bit
You came and went away without your presence known
The relationship between you and me gets lighter than dusts

I promise not to say any more
I am waiting for you like this, in front of your place
It is my last time like this…

I cried every day (I just cried)
Like this day
Baby will you tell me it is a lie?

Why do you keep appearing in my dream
Why are you bothering me over again
 If you know I am waiting for you until I die
Will you come back?

Indifference

     The road of our life is paved with many rocks, pointy, sharp, that hurt us with every step we take. Some of us decide to stop because it hurts too much and some go on and on, until the end, dealing with the pain with every step they take. It's not all just like that...there is also a smooth path that seems too good to be true. When it appears,  happiness becomes overwhelming and we forget about what road we had until then. This is life; not supposed to be easy. But it becomes a little easier when you don't walk alone and have someone to lean on when the pain is too big.
     If someone you love walks by your side, you forget about everything and just walk...the road feels like beach sand. But what if someone you love is there, by your side, but doesn't love you back? How do you go on when you feel every particle of sand like a knife?
     The opposite of love is not hate, is indifference. And I have to admit, I would rather be hated than treated with indifference by the one I care about. When scumbag Cupid shoots only one arrow, you find yourself in the worst situation. Even though you go through all emotions when you confess your love, some receive only a "Well thanks, that's nice xD" and some a smile and the rest is indifference.
     You find yourself new hobbies, like things you never thought you would ever like, behave the way you would never have thought you would, just because he likes it, and what do you receive in return? Indifference.
     And since women when they love think with their heart, they go all in and do everything just to please that one special person and forget about themselves. It's like they don't matter anymore.
     Being indifferent to your feelings and in the same time being next to you, is like...whaaat?!!! It's a no leave but no take. It's in between (ish). Even though your eyes sparkle when the one you love is next to you, when we wake up to reality and realize it was only true for a minute, it gets kind of depressive.
     What's to do? Nothing, in this case. Just go on with life, and wait for that one person that can really make you change your mind and bring you happiness again. Don't know when and how, or how long, but he's/she's out there somewhere( far away, in another galaxy >.<) .
 Just keep the faith !!!

The person who once loved me

Are you well? Is everything okay?
I long for your nagging that I was so sick of;
You used to only know me alone,
But are you doing well without me?

I regret thousands of times a day,
I live every day as I realize that you’re not here.
It’s right for me to leave for you, but
I guess I can’t live as I forget you

The person who used to love me is not by my side but
I still can’t forget you, I can’t forget you.
If only I can see you at least once more,
If only I can see you, if only I can see you again

t hurts so much and I can’t forget it
The complaints that you made several times a day
You looking at me as you smiled in my arms
Your two eyes on the day we broke up

Because you were there, I could always smile
Because you were there, I was the happiest
Through you, my life was livable
The person who I used to love so much.






credits: Heo Gak

Broken wings

A dark sky, a full moon,
The cold wind touching my face.
I can't hear anything...
I can't feel anything...
'cause it was the night in that you broke your wings.

You faded away like the petals of a blue rose
You had so many dreams, so many smiles to give.
A grown up man with the soul of a child and the heart of and angel...
An angel with broken wings.

You envied the butterflies because of their wings.
Once you told me you'd like to fly with them to the sky,
But no butterfly would give his wings to you because you already had them.
You were the angel that was taking care of us.

The sound of music that you played is still in my ears...
I'm still learning to feel it like you did;
I'm still searching for you.
But you're gone...

Once I dreamed of you staring at the moon.
I wanted to scream, but I had no voice;
I wanted to cry, but I had no tears...
You turned and smiled at me;
"I'm not coming back, so stop saying to return.
And don't worry, don't be sad,
I'm happy because now, my once broken wings, are back.
I can fly with the butterflies now."

If then I could talk and say how much I miss you...
I just wanted to feel the touch of your music one more time...for the last time.
I guess I wouldn't have let you go.
But I felt your calming love inside my hear and calmed.
Your gentle voice is still singing in my ears.

One day I'll have my wings,
So when that day comes, I'll hold you by my side forever;
So wait, wait...



p.s: made this one six years ago.
R.I.P Pink spider.

A present every day

      It's December again; the month of joy and overwhelming happiness, the month that brings up the gift of life. I'm very disappointed to see that many people only think about this month as being the month of receiving presents and forgetting about the true meaning of it.
      As a kid the only thing I expected from the first month of winter was my mother home for winter holidays. The presents for Christmas were a bonus, another reason to like December. But for others, unfortunately, a present was something that they only dreamed about.
      As we grow up, we should realize that we receive a present every day; and that is the present of life, of another day that we are allowed to live. As a grown-up, to whine and cry for presents is stupid. By this time one should have realized what a true present is about...material stuff fades away fast.
      The day of tomorrow is a true present; not all of us can benefit of this opportunity, and not all of us take advantage and enjoy life. For example the terminal phase cancer patients; a day in their life is a blessing, a chance to live for one more day, a hope for a cure. A mother who sees her child grow day by day, a daughter who lives as being the only joy of her mother, grandparents that see their grandchild succeeding in life...this are the people that thank God every day for the gift of another day.
      So why so many spend their days crying, being sad or angry? Don't they realize that they are wasting precious hours or days doing something that is unnecessary. Some would wish to have another day to be with their families,while others are wasting it on people that make them unfortunate and sad.
      People, wake up ! You only have one live, everyday is one of a kind so make sure that you live as happy and joyful as one can live life.

Probably

Even if it hurts, pretend that it's nothing
Even if tears fall, know how to hide them
Place it in one side of the heart, and know how to smile as if there's nothing wrong
That's the way to break up

My heart is going dark like this again
The many lingering regrets are pulling down
It'll probably be erased again, it'll probably become distant , we will probably forget each other
My meaningless day will probably pass by
Our unique love will probably be like it never existed
Even if I want to see you, I probably won't be able to see you again
Even if it hurts, I should bear it because this is the way to break up.

I would probably get used to spending the days without you
Tomorrow will probably be a little more comfortable
I will probably forget you little by little, maybe sometimes I will think of you
And probably only good memories will come up
I need to forget you.

Only my welled up tears remember you, and there are so many traces of happiness
To me, love is such a painful thing, but even if it hurts, I should bear it
I will probably forget like this...


                                                                                                                                         Credits: Kyuhyun

You're your own little secret

“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.” 
     Every person is made from small and big secrets. Everyone had that thing that they want to hide; the thing that they want to keep only for themselves. In extreme cases, there are more things that we want to hide, I guess because we kind of open our eyes and see what is around us; not everyone wants what's best for you. After getting tired of all the back-stabbing and unkind words said behind your back, you decide that your secrets are meant to be kept that way. So we end up a whole pile of secrets that eat us from the inside,outside.
      Humans are sullen and insecure little things in an unforgivable world. We have become very sensitive in such a great way that now, every word we hear is no longer processed by our brain, but it goes directly to the heart and she shakes you up in the worst way.
      People these days are only looking out for themselves, for their own well being and their own happiness. And for them to accomplish those things, they step on each and every one that stands in their way either with an active role in their life or with a passive one.
      Trust is something that has almost become a fictional word. We do know it exists in our vocabulary but few know the true meaning of it. Many use this word just to achieve their goal, because after, they're left with just five letters put together forming a meaningless word. 
     A person is made from tiny book pages spread around every part of his body. But some of them are sealed, only to be revealed to the ones that can earn his trust and prove that they're worthy of unsealing them. We are made out of secrets, they define us, the real us. No one really knows what is going on inside our head, that sometimes our loud laugh is just a way of hiding the scream of our suffering soul, that our cry is mixed with happiness and sorrow at the same time ( happiness because we are finally able to let some of it out, to feel a little relieve). 
     Every gesture, every smile, every breath we take, hides behind a secret that defines us. We are our own little secret, not to be revealed ! So let's keep the mystery and enjoy the show called life.