Powerful

     The power of a human to heal its body has always been a highly researched and documented thing. It never ceases to amaze us how we can heal and recover from injuries that seem so deep that a chance of hope is not even in sight. But we make it through and the only thing left is a scar, that will be with us to remind us how strong we are.
     Medicine has come far, our body can heal with our own power or with the help of others...but the real challenge is the soul. Who's in charge of healing the soul? God, music, nature, the only parts of the world that that will listen to our souls and heal them. But is it enough ? We're humans after all, we need something else to bring our souls back on the happy side and that is the power of another loving human.
     Life has its paths; some are difficult some are easy.. it depends on our perspective and our choices. Being broken on the inside and finding a human kind enough to be patient with you, to allow you all the time to adjust and to help in putting the pieces of your heart together and to heal your soul; that's something that nowadays is hardly seen, but it is there and it happens.  
     Humans are capable of destroying each other, not only physically but mentally as well, and healing is not that easy cause the soul and mind take longer to heal. Sometimes a random person comes in our life at that moment when we're feeling down..through a phone call, through a message, or just by bumping into you by mistake and taking minutes to apologize , and they make you realize that there are good people out there. Friends that make you smile, that are there whenever you need them, random strangers that smile at you even though you did nothing, the guy next door that held the door open for you while carrying a huge luggage. Then there's that special person that heals you on a deeper level, that gets you, that accepts you and grows with you.
     There's good in every person out there, some don't like showing it that much or some don't know how to. But when a connection between two people is made, words are no longer needed for that, we just know their intentions and we accept them in our life to heal our souls and make us all better on a higher level that anyone can understand but us.

Who are you ?

      A human being needs a dream so he can withstand reality; having no dream in this cruel world makes one prone to collapsing and making it harder for him to get back up. The younger generations that are coming forget how to dream...or more accurate would be that we forget to tell them how to dream. We're in a constantly going vicious cycle that makes us forget our dreams and how to pass that ability to the young.
      I took a couple of days off from the daily routine and decided to just go around and wander, meet new people, change a bit the scenery. I knew we were living in a fast going world, but I didn't know it was this bad. All I could see was just people being in a hurry to get to work but not seeing that they bumped into a little girl that fell over and started crying; people being too busy arguing over the phone and ignoring their crying child, eventually screaming at him because the mother couldn't hear the other person on the phone that she was arguing with; a mom forgetting her boy in the crowded bus because she forgot to take his hand while she was too busy playing Candy Crush.  Busy people everywhere...in a hurry, sleepy, grumpy, constantly on their phone, pressured by the society....forgetting who they really are and what they're living for.
      A day in the life of a modern adult is so dull and superficial that I wonder how they can make it through the week. Nothing new, it's the same thing every single day. We are coming to a point in that we don't live our lives just for us to be us, but we live it in order to be like other people because our weak selves are afraid of being unique and different..we feel the need to surpass the one that is front of us, better than us.
      How long has it been since you last stopped from your daily activities and gave a random person a hug ? How long has it been since you've last complimented a person, read a good book, took your family out, went for a long walk, had some time with yourself ? How long has it been since you stopped and looked at your parents that are getting older day by day?  We are in such a hurry to grow up that we forget we once were kids and had a dream that got lost in the process of being a successful adult...so we've lost ourselves.
      Our life is too short to be lived in a superficial way, for others and dictated by society. The day of tomorrow is not granted, so why miss the opportunity of doing something we like today. Change your environment, do something you'd like to do; don't hurry, but be patient and enjoy life.

Don't hate the player, hate the game

      The sweetness of the forbidden fruit is so deceiving, it makes us do so many things we normally would just pass and leave it for the others and then regret it. We can't even see that we're being played and just go with the flow. But something triggers us in asking ourselves if this is really right, if this should really be like this. Question marks all over the place. The only friend we have in this situation is our intuition. If you feel something is wrong, it probably is, no doubt in sight. But there are some tiny aspects to look out for when you get that feeling of being played. He or she may be a skilled  player but we have to top that, they all have their own slips and flaws.
      As we all know, it all starts off really sweet. He or she tries to model his character and hobbies after yourself. You like one thing, he or she will definitely say they like it as well, even though there's a really high possibility they don't like or don't even know what that is or how you do it ( time decides this, you may be wrong..sit back and observe).
      You have something they want. If they see in you a source of unconditional help they will do whatever it takes to make you feel amazing in their presence, get you the things you want, take you out for dinner and whatnot until they have what they wanted from you. Then they start to back away from you, be more cold around you and then ignore you until you give up on trying to find out what just happened.
      Phone and social media, two major things to look after when you feel you're being played. He or she will not use the phone around you because everyone has that one friend that has to blow it all. But of course they pick it up when you go away to the bathroom or who knows where. Try to ask to see his or her phone and they'll flip.
      At the start of the so called relationship you use to talk/text really often. I get the fact that you don't have to be on your phone all the time or answer a text at the speed of light but if days pass and they fail to respond start putting up question marks. Short, delayed, annoying or sarcastic answers might come, which are signs you should look after .If they care about you, no matter how busy they are and no matter how bad their memory is, they will make time and remember to respond as soon as they have time.
      Ever wondered why you don't know most of his or her friends? Well that would mean going deeper into the other's personal life and knowing more about them so they avoid taking you out when he or she meets some friends.
      The truth is that after they get what they want from you or just use you as a rebound partner, they'll just back away from you, forgetting about you and moving on while you sit there all hurt and disappointed. Don't let it get to that point...you're better that this. Look out for the small details, the little signs he or she shows and always, ALWAYS be friends with your intuition. You can't trust anyone and anything more than your own intuition. If something seems off take a step back, put all the puzzle pieces together and see the whole picture of it. Don't fall for this pathetic game cause then you'll be the guilty one. You saw what was happening and yet you let it pass hoping that things will get better with time. Naaah that's not how you do this.
Trust in yourself, don't fall for sweet words when every part of your body tells you something is wrong. Look for the best because everyone deserves the best.

Flower

Take my hand
You know I’m here with you
Say my name
Cause lies can’t kill the truth

It’s burning up
The truths hidden in lies
It’s being silenced
All the dreams broken on the small lips

Nobody can help me
Take me out from the rotten memories

Come take my hand
Drench my dried up heart

Come take my hand
Till the end
So I can live for you again

The cruelly trampled flower
Looks like love is pain
Like broken wings

The countless scars that imprison me
They’re like sad thorns that dig into me

It’s all right
Take my hand
In this arrogant world, even mistakes become big sins
Don’t cry
You’ve become the world’s hot topic then you turn into ash
Then they take away each piece of you
Your life Your soul Your world
They cannot kill it
Look at me, I’ve died but I opened my eyes again, I killed it
The darkness swallowed me but now I’m swallowing you
Piercing through the storm of snow
A deeply rooted flower blossoms
This is the truth
It may seem like it’s all over
There wasn’t a single door in this world that smothered you
Everyone goes through this
I tell you it’s okay
Even if it’s a small light, the darkness can’t swallow it

                                                                         

                                                                                                                             Credits: Xia 

Beautiful liar

This is a beautiful lie,
My last lie.
Even if it hurts to death,
I am hiding myself
under a mask for you.

I see myself in the mirror and I ask myself
Will it really make you happy if I let you go?
I’ll throw myself away completely
because you need quiet time to yourself
Did I say those things without even meaning it?
As I replay your face
when you screamed "go away"
I’m tainting our memories that were beautiful
I haven’t imagined a life without you yet
but please be happy
So that at least my lie can shine

I’m letting go of your tightly held hands
But my heart is still the same
But I’ll let you go.
I think it’s best for you
if I end it right here

It’s alright if you leave me
I want you to be happy
I’m a beautiful liar.

You keep shedding tears
in front of me.
It was an unexpected line that
led to the next chapter;
You told me to take back
the words I spit out
As you hold onto my face.
Then you collapsed off your feet
This isn’t the future I thought of...
It seemed like a sin to look at you;
like a lonely tied up dog.
So I’m swallowing up my feelings
and letting you go.
You must live better than me, promise me.
But the moment I said that,
you turned around.

I won’t hang onto you, I will smile
This is me, don’t hesitate anymore
Leave me !

It’s time for me to give you
The last bits of my heart.
The fact that we loved is beautiful.

Me with iron shackles on my legs
Is more like me than ever before.
(You turned around, ran to me
Told me not to say stupid lies
As you smiled in front of me)

It’s a beautiful pain
Letting you go
I have to kill myself inside,
Swallow my tears,
And put on a smiling mask

I feel so relieved now.
Please don’t worry about me
I’m a beautiful
No, a cowardly liar...

Credits: VIXX LR 

So far and yet so near

      "You two seem like the perfect couple, you look so good together". Those words are meant to make one feel better about their relationship right? Well yes, it's true up to an extent. The response proceeding those words for a couple in a long distance relationship would be "Thank you, but we're not in the perfect situation though".  When a couple engages in a long distance relationship, they have to know from the start that a lot of sacrifices will be made. I guess we are made to have a feeling when we meet our so called soul mate. That's why we accept in going aboard a long and bumpy journey.
       Missing someone is not such a great feeling, but it keeps you going; you are under the same sky, watching the same stars even if you're a city away, a country, an ocean or a continent away from each other. Just the thought of the times spent together and the ones that are to come keeps the engine going. Plus, you know you are lucky to have someone so special to miss. Those that are in a long distance relationship appreciate one another more, because they know they can trust each other and put their full confidence in their significant other.
But, of course, the beginning is always hard. Until a couple gets to know each other enough to give a full trust, doubt kicks in. " Where is he, why doesn't he answer, is he cheating on me?", those are the most common questions a woman puts. It is in the human nature of a woman to think quick, doubt even quicker and accuse. And from here it all starts.Things getting colder, interest gets lost and so it ends.    
       That is if they are not responsible enough and they are uncommunicative. Communication is the key; if one doesn't like something, they just have to say it, resolve the situation together; why keep it in and let it accumulate.
      A point is reached when the waiting is too long and you need that person there, by your side, then, right away. That's the threshold when you know you need to get that flight or train ticket and get there.
      Technology has evolved so much, that even though we are not able to touch that person, we can see and hear our loved one and it's still a big thing in such a situation.
      For two strong hearts that know what they want, distance is nothing. They didn't say that "good things come for those who wait" for nothing. It's surprising to see how a person that is far away can make one feel so loved and cherished, rather than one that is right beside them.
      Nothing good comes easy. So keep your ground and wait together.

Stuck in the past

      There comes a time when scumbag Cupid strikes. Isn't that what we wish for ? The feathery fellow shooting an arrow at both of you?
      But...there is a but here. One of you has an "inspiring" idea of not caring anymore and everything falls apart. Why did you wish for someone who cares about you if you are not capable of doing that?
      "After 4 years and 2 relationships, I still love her!" he said. Being stuck in the past is not a pleasant feeling. Many suffer because of this, including you and the ones that are around you. Regret and love mixed together keeps your heart in idle mode. Even though you try to get over it, because it may just be a phase, you involve yourself in another relationship, but your heart is with that girl...the one that you figured out too late that really cared about you.
      Letting it all out after all that time, it may put your regret to an end and making way for joy, but you also might turn out as a clingy person. I guess it depends on the significant other.
      It is said that time flies and heals everything but we keep breaking its wings. The answer to this issue is the one that loved you back then. Just don't make the mistake of being stuck in the past. Get out there and do what's good for you and come and live and love today, in the present.

What is a first love to a man?

      What is a first love to a man? Is is something that isn't easily folded? Is it something that you want to unfold again after folding it ? Even if there is fold mark, do you not care ?
      It differs on the situation. If it folds in one go, then it's a thank you. If you open it up again, then it's lingering attachment. If you open it twice then it's sadness. If you open it three times, it's pain. After unfolding it over and over again and it becomes ragged, that's how the heart gets ripped. And when ripped, you just deal with it until you've gone numb. That's how it is.
      Men usually are the stronger sex, so when it comes to these kind of situations, they usually keep it all in, and start breaking into small pieces on the inside, while on the outside they act all calm and smiley. When a man gets his heart broken he indeed becomes numb to everything. A woman passes through this stage as hard but at least they have the capacity to recover a bit. Women tend to let it all out, cry until there's no more tears left; but of course there some tough girls out there that prefer to keep it low and deal with it in silence. Both sexes are different, but sometimes the roles switch. But in most cases it happens like above.
      The rather rare case in that a man starts to love profoundly, then he gets his heart broken is like breaking a piece a glass and then smashing it with a hammer. They become indifferent and silent. The numbness in their heart gets to everyone. They no longer have the eagerness to feel...until they find the girl that manages to take care of their heart.

Auditory Hallucination

There are so many hidden things inside of me
It made me change so much
It put me to sleep, it tied my hands and feet
It trapped me in a dark room
The pieces of lost time
The memories of love that I threw away
They have been deleted and thrown away
Only the outer shells remain
Without knowing anything, I just shouted
I just have that memory
My heart that was cold as ice
It will be forgotten after I sleep
I want to escape from this pain that chains me down
Someone wake me up
From my soul that is filled with scars

The deeply colored night sky
Is filled with you, who won’t leave
It wakes me from my sleep
Kissing me again

Your voice that whispered I love you
Your scent, I hear it in my ears every day
Where are you?

You’re hidden in a place where I can’t see you
The pain you received for me
When my anger becomes one
I’ll chase the lost memories from the deep sleep
I want to find the real me that is not you
But the bruises in my heart are too big
I try hiding it but they hide in my heart and wake me up
I met you on the other side of my horrible memories
You embraced even my lost feelings
Helping me get up from being broken
I’m trying not to let go of your hands
I’m trying to erase the nightmares
I’m trying so hard
In this place where I trapped myself

I want to roll up the darkness
And find you
Though I can’t touch you
Or be held by you

What controls me
Isn’t what lives in me
What can heal me isn’t strong medicine
It’s just love
The voice I hear in my ears
Wakes me up from being lost
After it wraps around me and kisses me
It disappears and I can’t see it anymore

In the night sky that I can’t touch
I see you turning back
Making me escape from the exhausted days
Making it into a picture

I’m sorry, I say as I hold onto you
Don’t go far away, I call out to you
In the sadness that I can’t ever see again
Tears fall again

Credits to Jang Jae In and NaShow 

What do you live for?

     Sitting around in my apartment the other day, a question came flying into my head..." What do I live for?" Frankly speaking, I had no answer to that question...
     Surfing the internet today, I found a video about a survey that was made with people being asked what do they live for. It was not a surprise to see that the majority were living for their family, daughter, son, mother.
     It sounded right at first, but after a while it didn't..." Why isn't anyone living for himself?"It's our life, right? We should live for us...even though it sounds selfish and self-centered. But think!!! If one lives for him, that implies a happy family, happy friends and happy self, right?
     You live for you. You make everything that is in your power to make your family happy, because thanks to them, you are able to go back home every day knowing that someone is there to welcome you with a smile and a warm hug.
     You live for you, to be able to see your friends accomplished and happy. Cracking jokes, remembering the old times, having a round of laughs just for detaching from the daily life.
     This is the advantage of living for you. You get to think a little about yourself, your health, your well being , because it's the only way to see others happy and to live for them as well. I live to see my mother smile, to see my friends being happy and  acting all naturally crazy but I also live for me, I keep myself healthy and happy because I know this is the only way to be there, living for my family and friends as well. And seeing them happy or seeing my mother smile, well that's when I feel like I actually live for something and I'm not just an oxygen consumer.
     As a mother lives for her child, a son or daughter lives for his or her parents. We live for someone else, we live for adrenaline, for music, for the fresh air of each morning. We put a little of ourselves in others; in order to live for them but we should keep something from us for ourselves. Always.
     So, what do you live for?

Error

I couldn’t help it so I threw it all out
I erased all of my emotions
But I couldn’t erase you 
Because my heart was too sad 

I just need to live like this, I just need to breathe
I just need to be alive, why can’t I?
I said it’s okay 
This is better for me 

I was afraid that I’d get cut by your sharp, knife-like words
I just need to breathe and eat to endure through this

I was a coward, I wanted to endure through

I’m holding my heart in my hand
I chose a life that is for me

I don’t want to let go of myself
I don’t want to ruin myself anymore
Memories that aren’t ending even when it’s over
I have no confidence to win over it

Love, in the end
Is a lie to just one person
Now look at me forgetting you
With your eyes wide open

Don’t ever forget me
Don’t ever erase me

My heart was limping and this is the end of the road
After making that decision and taking a breath
I let out a deep sigh
I rip him up from inside my heart
As I let out a silent scream
I’m erasing the after images that are floating around
Burning up the remaining memories up to the sky, burn

I saw you again, I cried
Something went terribly wrong
My heart is still remembering 
Everything was the same 

There’s nowhere to run from you

If I hold onto you, it hurts
But if I let you go, it hurts even more
This place is deeper than a dream inside a dream
I have no confidence to escape from it

Saying that I’ll forget you
Is all a lie that remains in me
Your face spreads throughout my heart again
It hurts even more than before

I think I miss you even more
I think it’s even more dangerous

Credits: VIXX Error .
The one who wrote the lyrics is a genius !

Yes, more please !

      “Sometimes we focus so much on what we don't have that we fail to see, appreciate, and use what we do have!”...I found this one a while ago and it took me some time to put some ideas together. 
You know how we always say: "Why is this happening to me out of all the people out there? What did I do to deserve such a thing?" 
      I'm seeing these days 3-4 y.o kids with an iphone and complain they don't have the latest version of it...back when I was 4 y.o I didn't even know we had a phone -_-. Where is the world heading too ? 
      Some children these days are way too spoiled. They want something, they can just cry until they are about to explode in the middle of the street and puff, they get what they want. Those kids ultimately become adults and are the type of people that have it all and yet they are not satisfied and want even more.       Instead of thanking God every day for being able to wake up and live the life they have, as it is, they start complaining. It usually surrounds a relationship and work. If they have a relationship, they will always want more and the words that set me off are: "Why can't you be like that couple?"  If I were to be involved in a discussion that gets to this question, I would end it right away, take my bag and leave. It's like parents do when you are little: " Why can't you get a grade like Jack's?", "Why can't you be as carring like Betty's kid?" I hated to hear that when I was younger and I'm getting sick when I hear it today. We all are different, we interpret love and affection in different ways. You can't go around comparing people, couples, relationships, families. If you do that, PLEASE stay away from me. It is an individual world...we all are who we are. You don't like something, don't compare, talk nicely about it, and solve the problem. And at work is the same think: "Why can't I have the promotion I want? Why is my schedule so busy?" 
      Why can't we just appreciate what we have? Why do we want more? Some people don't even have a job, don't even have a family, a house. And it's the human that complains of having it all, but not enough...well the human race is very greedy. The more we have, the happier we are, theoretically, but it's not the case. A person knows what he has and values it. A roof above his head, a family. From here the future can be made as we wish as long as we have a place to come back to and a family to love and be loved without doubt. 
      The "have it all people" fail to see what's around them. They are only focused on having more. "I don't have that latest perfume, I need to buy it"...why? you already have one ! "The newest version of smartphone is way better, I have to buy it! "...why? you already have a phone ! And the list goes on, greediness has no end to it. 
      Stop wanting more and say thank you for what you have. You grew with your parents by your side, you are one of the lucky ones, you have friends, you go to a school, have pocket money, nice clothes, a phone, a family....YOU are lucky to have those...some just dream of it. start appreciating and you'll have more than you expect.

Mirror mirror on the wall

       Childhood it is said to be the most beautiful period of our life, the one that we will always want to go back to. It's the place where our dreams were born, where we were innocent and pure at heart, we still loved just the sight of a beautiful butterfly that we would chase around until we got tired. This is the perfect script right? But for some, childhood was a bitter period.
       Being a little different than the rest of the children can lead to be pointed fingers at, laughed at, bullied, made fun of. And kids are much more sensitive than adults ( even adults can still be affected ), and all those words and actions of other kids or people are kept well hidden in their tiny and sensitive hearts. And as they grow up, they feel insecure, scared, shy, afraid to be judged again.
      Those kids become,ultimately, adults. What's different about them? They suffer from a disease called Low Self-Confidence. The fear of failing, of letting people down, of being judged is always present inside them. But what they don't realize yet is that people are ALWAYS going to judge you, are going to talk behind your back and so on, because this is how humans are! It basically in our nature to do that, whether we what it or not, those words are still going to come out. So what's to do then?
       Me, as a teenager, I grew up basically alone...I was judged, pointed fingers at and all the humiliating package. My level of self confidence was rock-bottom and no one was there to teach me how to deal with that. So I just grew up like that. But it seems that as you grow older, you start to see things more clear and everything makes sense. And I found ways to change the old shy self. The answer to curing low self confidence is through TRAINING. "I'm not going to that job interview; I know already I'm gonna get rejected", "I'm not going to speak with that guy, he'll get scared of how I look". So basically we're afraid of loosing, failing. But guess what, learning how to loose, you win a bigger prize: a chance to achieve perfection. Loosing makes one win another chance of trying and succeeding.
       So people, please stop saying "I can't", "It's impossible", "nope, that's not for me", "I'm too ugly for him/her"; it's kinda time to change you vocabulary into "I can", "why not", "let's give it a shot", "hell yeah I'm gonna talk to him/her".There may be times when you just want to quit, give it all up, but that's a stupid action, something a coward would do, so forget it !
       Don't take life as an easy thing, it's not supposed to be easy. When you step outside your house, leave your shyness and insecurity at home, and go out there and rock ! Tall, small, fat, slim, black, yellow, white, WHO CARES !! You are you, you know yourself, other's opinions are just some useless babbles.
Take some time and just look into the mirror, tell yourself EVERY TIME that you can and you will do it, and there you go, self confidence restored. Buuuut, you don't achieve it over night.It might take some time, so hang in there.
       You are your own source of strength, so be confident and trust yourself!

Car keys and wallet !

      Articles over articles, shows over shows, everywhere it's full of people that value money and things. Open a newspaper or a magazine and there has to be an article about how I don't know who got engaged with a millionaire 20 years older than him or her. Same goes if you switch on the TV ( thank God I don't oped that thing ). Once I went out with a friend and it happened I just got to know a guy that I found interesting. Guess what was the first question that popped out of her mouth..."Is he rich? Does he have a car?" So, it did not matter to her what he was studying, if he was cute or not, if he was someone that you could speak to relaxed. No....those were insignificant and it shocked me. I know the society that we live in, but I didn't know that the way of thinking was so rotten.
      Males and females seek in the opposite sex different things. For women, money and for men, outside beauty. "25 year old woman has married 65 year old millionaire out of love". It sure is love, I mean who wouldn't marry gramps out of love for a truck load of money? As time passed, women have developed the ability to get through life wisely and easy, that's why I suppose they're attracted to money. And men...well they have that ability as well, but they're to lazy to develop it or they don't really encounter occasions to take advantage of. But they play their cards well as well. Young and rich and good-looking to top it...that guy will play his cards very well and always get what he wants, when he wants and from whom he wants. And because women are suckers for money they'll get caught and guess who'll be crying later?
      Going after material things, judging a person by his bank account or by the looks is a stupid thing to do. Those things could fade in an instant and all that "honey, I married you out of love" bullsh*t" will no longer exist. If your partner is smart, knows his way through life, you can open any subject of discussion and talk about it, he can manage alone a problem, has a sense of humor and is fun to hang out with, why the hell do you have to look at the bank account, the type of car he is driving or the way his body looks? Are we really that superficial? People, everything fades away !!! Beauty, money, that awesome car, everything disappears.
      What's the advantage of going out with a guy that has his wallet full of credit cards, buys you the expensive stuff you want, but doesn't have the brain to manage a problem or talk about elaborate things? I'm still trying to figure out what some girls think when they do that....
Same goes for a guy...that beauty of your girlfriend is going to fade, kilograms are going to add to that slender body and the poor girl will be dumped ( I've been a witness to a situation like this one ). The girl may be smart and fun and all the package, but the as*hole wants a model, and if possible, with no brain so he can play how he wants.
      "I make memories, I value what's on the inside, I value the person, that persons feelings", this is what I want to hear. Being yourself, not changing for the sake of the one next to you. Be special, like what is worth liking and soon the one that is a match for you and values the same things with appear.

How long is forever?

     In just 60 seconds from a video, I learned a life lesson that I've completely forgotten. A guy was asked how long was forever, since he made a promise with his friends that he'll be there, with them, together forever. The answer was simple but stroke a cord in my heart. " The fate of being together, and cherishing each other...I don't know how long is forever, but I only know to cherish every single moment with you guys by my side. I am satisfied like this. The moments with you guys being by my side it is enough to cherish every single moment. There will be times when it will be tiring, but just bear with it a little and it will be over. There isn't anything much about it...we are a family "
     Those words came out with so much sincerity and kindness, that they brought tears in my eyes instantly. It may seem little to some, but to find someone that actually cherishes every single moment in life with his loved ones, encouraging and supporting them is not something to just pass by.
     We find ourselves tired sometimes, trying to run away from our problems, but there is always that one friend that can stop you and encourage you if you let them. But in those moments our anger and tiredness levels are so high that we reject any act of kindness from that friend. Now I learned that that a friend can't be there for you if you start acting like that...he can get tired as well. So just dealing with it and let him/her help you, will be best for both sides. When a friend puts his head on your shoulder, don't feel pressured or annoyed, be proud that he chose you to support him, he chose you to show his weak side because he trusts you, and he indirectly asks for your help.
     Recently I feel like I've passed through time without remembering to cherish what I have...a life, friends, a family, a roof above my head and so many more. I just lived forgetting all these stuff. But It only took 60 seconds of my life to remember that I'm not alone and that every single second should be cherished...we only live once, we only have one chance, one shot at life. So be strong, be a support for others, a source of power and strength, of unlimited will, and it will all come back at you.
And to answer the question...forever is NOW !!

Eyes, nose, lips

You left me paralyzed.
No cure, no rehab for me.
Funny that you got the nerve to keep askin' me how I've been.
You're the victor in this pageantry.
But the only trophy you deserve...
catastrophe.
I'd rather we be dead to each other.
No eulogies said for each other.
No rest in peace's.
The memory's got my chest in pieces.

I'm praying that your eyes are the first to go.
The way they looked when you smiled,
The way they opened and closed.
Then your nose...
Every single breath against my neck.
And then your lips.
Every empty promise made and said.

Please fade.
Fade to black..
But the nightmares come back.

Because your eyes, nose, lips-
every look and every breath, every kiss
still got me dyin'
You still got me cryin'...

Forget a promenade.
Let's juggernaut down memory lane.
Leave no thought alive.
To the slaughterhouse I'm takin' my pain.
It's time to severe my brain from my heart and soul.
My knees are burnin' hot
but God is cold.
I've been told, one day you'll know,
too much of Heaven's a sin.

After the show it's only hell that it brings.
So take it slow and let time heal everything.
They say that time flies,but you keep breaking it's wings.

You wish me well,
I wish you hell.

I never want to look into your eyes again.
No, I never wanna hear you breathe again.
Let me go.
Baby, tell me this is the end.

Fade out.


The lyrics of this track are just too amazing to let them not posted.
credits: Tablo & Taeyang

Say goodbye

You know I am nothing without you

To forget you, I try to meet someone

But it doesn’t work as it sounds
I try to sleep but I keep thinking about you as the sun rises

The pictures lying on that table
I realize there is only me whom to depend on, looking at them
I pretend nothing is wrong but it’s my rationalization

I don`t wanna say goodbye love.
When the cold wind blows, I get tears thinking about you
Do not run away over again.

We were good, we were happy
You said this is the last love
 If you know I am waiting for you until I die
Will you come back?

In case your phone number has changed
I go in and out to your mini-homepage
Many times a day
It looks like a breakup with my head
But it doesn’t with my mind
I know it won’t change...
Yes, to be honest, I got tired a bit
You came and went away without your presence known
The relationship between you and me gets lighter than dusts

I promise not to say any more
I am waiting for you like this, in front of your place
It is my last time like this…

I cried every day (I just cried)
Like this day
Baby will you tell me it is a lie?

Why do you keep appearing in my dream
Why are you bothering me over again
 If you know I am waiting for you until I die
Will you come back?

Indifference

     The road of our life is paved with many rocks, pointy, sharp, that hurt us with every step we take. Some of us decide to stop because it hurts too much and some go on and on, until the end, dealing with the pain with every step they take. It's not all just like that...there is also a smooth path that seems too good to be true. When it appears,  happiness becomes overwhelming and we forget about what road we had until then. This is life; not supposed to be easy. But it becomes a little easier when you don't walk alone and have someone to lean on when the pain is too big.
     If someone you love walks by your side, you forget about everything and just walk...the road feels like beach sand. But what if someone you love is there, by your side, but doesn't love you back? How do you go on when you feel every particle of sand like a knife?
     The opposite of love is not hate, is indifference. And I have to admit, I would rather be hated than treated with indifference by the one I care about. When scumbag Cupid shoots only one arrow, you find yourself in the worst situation. Even though you go through all emotions when you confess your love, some receive only a "Well thanks, that's nice xD" and some a smile and the rest is indifference.
     You find yourself new hobbies, like things you never thought you would ever like, behave the way you would never have thought you would, just because he likes it, and what do you receive in return? Indifference.
     And since women when they love think with their heart, they go all in and do everything just to please that one special person and forget about themselves. It's like they don't matter anymore.
     Being indifferent to your feelings and in the same time being next to you, is like...whaaat?!!! It's a no leave but no take. It's in between (ish). Even though your eyes sparkle when the one you love is next to you, when we wake up to reality and realize it was only true for a minute, it gets kind of depressive.
     What's to do? Nothing, in this case. Just go on with life, and wait for that one person that can really make you change your mind and bring you happiness again. Don't know when and how, or how long, but he's/she's out there somewhere( far away, in another galaxy >.<) .
 Just keep the faith !!!

The person who once loved me

Are you well? Is everything okay?
I long for your nagging that I was so sick of;
You used to only know me alone,
But are you doing well without me?

I regret thousands of times a day,
I live every day as I realize that you’re not here.
It’s right for me to leave for you, but
I guess I can’t live as I forget you

The person who used to love me is not by my side but
I still can’t forget you, I can’t forget you.
If only I can see you at least once more,
If only I can see you, if only I can see you again

t hurts so much and I can’t forget it
The complaints that you made several times a day
You looking at me as you smiled in my arms
Your two eyes on the day we broke up

Because you were there, I could always smile
Because you were there, I was the happiest
Through you, my life was livable
The person who I used to love so much.






credits: Heo Gak

Broken wings

A dark sky, a full moon,
The cold wind touching my face.
I can't hear anything...
I can't feel anything...
'cause it was the night in that you broke your wings.

You faded away like the petals of a blue rose
You had so many dreams, so many smiles to give.
A grown up man with the soul of a child and the heart of and angel...
An angel with broken wings.

You envied the butterflies because of their wings.
Once you told me you'd like to fly with them to the sky,
But no butterfly would give his wings to you because you already had them.
You were the angel that was taking care of us.

The sound of music that you played is still in my ears...
I'm still learning to feel it like you did;
I'm still searching for you.
But you're gone...

Once I dreamed of you staring at the moon.
I wanted to scream, but I had no voice;
I wanted to cry, but I had no tears...
You turned and smiled at me;
"I'm not coming back, so stop saying to return.
And don't worry, don't be sad,
I'm happy because now, my once broken wings, are back.
I can fly with the butterflies now."

If then I could talk and say how much I miss you...
I just wanted to feel the touch of your music one more time...for the last time.
I guess I wouldn't have let you go.
But I felt your calming love inside my hear and calmed.
Your gentle voice is still singing in my ears.

One day I'll have my wings,
So when that day comes, I'll hold you by my side forever;
So wait, wait...



p.s: made this one six years ago.
R.I.P Pink spider.