Take me away

     I ran without a fear in this world, feeling only the caress of the wind passing  through my hair. Running with only a smile on my face, knowing that one day I'll be there by your side; leaving it all behind, just running to you. I didn't care about anything, every word that was tossed towards me, it just passed by. I was only seeing you at the end of the road, and I kept on running.
     Wearing baggy clothes, a pair of torn sneaker and a beautiful smile on my face, I kept running to you. Day, night, sun, rain, wind...everything I faced just didn't matter to me because the feeling that I had, was the best I ever had, something that I didn't think I could feel...just like you're flying and seeing underneath you a world of healing, smiles and joy. I finally reached the point that I thought that it couldn't get any better.
Running by the river side, with the night in sight, I knew my journey will end soon, so I ran even faster. I couldn't wait to meet you.
     Running for days, I finally found you. I stood there still, eyes wide open, heavy breath, but I was there. The joy was overwhelming, I couldn't contain myself. I saw you standing there, arms opened welcoming me.      Then I stepped forward...but something didn't seem right. I was standing on the edge of a cliff, with a deep hollow in front of me, darkness grinning at me. Why was this happening to me? After all that running, after all those sacrifices, after all the happiness that surrounded me, you were right there in front of me, yet so very far away. Rain started to fall like crazy; I just stood there looking at you. Tears came down pouring...loosing the strength in my feet, I fell on the ground, not being able to stand again.
     You were there !! In my sight, in my grasp ! Why can't I reach you, touch you, feel you ? Looking at the way you shined, it made me sad. But seeing you slowly stepping away from me, a tear falling shyly off your face, and turning your back at me, made me cry even harder, like you stabbed my heart a thousand times.
     Why was I standing there for? Why were you the only one that I wanted to be with? I stood there kneeling on the edge of the cliff, crying, making myself angry that I wasn't good enough, and asking myself one simple question.. "Will I ever be good enough for you, my dream?"

On my way to freedom

     Memories, actions, people, feelings...all this make us who we are today. The past, the present and the future are the three things that we think about basically all day long, every day. Or so it should be.

     Some of us are still trapped in the past, not being able to enjoy the present and think about the future. The same question that they ask themselves: "What if..."haunts them. They wonder if they had done something different, said something, would they be living another present now? But beside the "What if..." question, there is also "I shouldn't have...". 

     We regret what we didn't do or say but also what we did say. Either way,act or don't act, it's still gonna screw your life in one way or another. But acting makes things a tiny, little bit easier to deal with in the present. Living in the past is pure torture that we make ourselves go through. We all have bad memories, moments in our life that we want to forget but we can't, and we live tied up to the past, forgetting to live in the present and think about the future. What we did in a moment of anger, stupidity, selfishness will haunt us until we're done with. 

     So what's to be done? First, go in the past, go to that moment and figure out what you did wrong. Then find your present, find your words, and go make things right. Stop pitying yourself and go straighten things up. It's the only way that freedom will be attained. Even though things may not turn out okay, your heart and soul can calm down and search for the future. 

     I always hear "Time will heal everything". I think that is one big lie. Time does not heal...the only one that can make a difference and heal, is you. You are your own doctor. Why live in the past when we only have one life? Give yourself an upgrade, look forward and make things right. It may be too late but it may be not. So step up, and live in your present.