Error

I couldn’t help it so I threw it all out
I erased all of my emotions
But I couldn’t erase you 
Because my heart was too sad 

I just need to live like this, I just need to breathe
I just need to be alive, why can’t I?
I said it’s okay 
This is better for me 

I was afraid that I’d get cut by your sharp, knife-like words
I just need to breathe and eat to endure through this

I was a coward, I wanted to endure through

I’m holding my heart in my hand
I chose a life that is for me

I don’t want to let go of myself
I don’t want to ruin myself anymore
Memories that aren’t ending even when it’s over
I have no confidence to win over it

Love, in the end
Is a lie to just one person
Now look at me forgetting you
With your eyes wide open

Don’t ever forget me
Don’t ever erase me

My heart was limping and this is the end of the road
After making that decision and taking a breath
I let out a deep sigh
I rip him up from inside my heart
As I let out a silent scream
I’m erasing the after images that are floating around
Burning up the remaining memories up to the sky, burn

I saw you again, I cried
Something went terribly wrong
My heart is still remembering 
Everything was the same 

There’s nowhere to run from you

If I hold onto you, it hurts
But if I let you go, it hurts even more
This place is deeper than a dream inside a dream
I have no confidence to escape from it

Saying that I’ll forget you
Is all a lie that remains in me
Your face spreads throughout my heart again
It hurts even more than before

I think I miss you even more
I think it’s even more dangerous

Credits: VIXX Error .
The one who wrote the lyrics is a genius !

Yes, more please !

      “Sometimes we focus so much on what we don't have that we fail to see, appreciate, and use what we do have!”...I found this one a while ago and it took me some time to put some ideas together. 
You know how we always say: "Why is this happening to me out of all the people out there? What did I do to deserve such a thing?" 
      I'm seeing these days 3-4 y.o kids with an iphone and complain they don't have the latest version of it...back when I was 4 y.o I didn't even know we had a phone -_-. Where is the world heading too ? 
      Some children these days are way too spoiled. They want something, they can just cry until they are about to explode in the middle of the street and puff, they get what they want. Those kids ultimately become adults and are the type of people that have it all and yet they are not satisfied and want even more.       Instead of thanking God every day for being able to wake up and live the life they have, as it is, they start complaining. It usually surrounds a relationship and work. If they have a relationship, they will always want more and the words that set me off are: "Why can't you be like that couple?"  If I were to be involved in a discussion that gets to this question, I would end it right away, take my bag and leave. It's like parents do when you are little: " Why can't you get a grade like Jack's?", "Why can't you be as carring like Betty's kid?" I hated to hear that when I was younger and I'm getting sick when I hear it today. We all are different, we interpret love and affection in different ways. You can't go around comparing people, couples, relationships, families. If you do that, PLEASE stay away from me. It is an individual world...we all are who we are. You don't like something, don't compare, talk nicely about it, and solve the problem. And at work is the same think: "Why can't I have the promotion I want? Why is my schedule so busy?" 
      Why can't we just appreciate what we have? Why do we want more? Some people don't even have a job, don't even have a family, a house. And it's the human that complains of having it all, but not enough...well the human race is very greedy. The more we have, the happier we are, theoretically, but it's not the case. A person knows what he has and values it. A roof above his head, a family. From here the future can be made as we wish as long as we have a place to come back to and a family to love and be loved without doubt. 
      The "have it all people" fail to see what's around them. They are only focused on having more. "I don't have that latest perfume, I need to buy it"...why? you already have one ! "The newest version of smartphone is way better, I have to buy it! "...why? you already have a phone ! And the list goes on, greediness has no end to it. 
      Stop wanting more and say thank you for what you have. You grew with your parents by your side, you are one of the lucky ones, you have friends, you go to a school, have pocket money, nice clothes, a phone, a family....YOU are lucky to have those...some just dream of it. start appreciating and you'll have more than you expect.

Mirror mirror on the wall

       Childhood it is said to be the most beautiful period of our life, the one that we will always want to go back to. It's the place where our dreams were born, where we were innocent and pure at heart, we still loved just the sight of a beautiful butterfly that we would chase around until we got tired. This is the perfect script right? But for some, childhood was a bitter period.
       Being a little different than the rest of the children can lead to be pointed fingers at, laughed at, bullied, made fun of. And kids are much more sensitive than adults ( even adults can still be affected ), and all those words and actions of other kids or people are kept well hidden in their tiny and sensitive hearts. And as they grow up, they feel insecure, scared, shy, afraid to be judged again.
      Those kids become,ultimately, adults. What's different about them? They suffer from a disease called Low Self-Confidence. The fear of failing, of letting people down, of being judged is always present inside them. But what they don't realize yet is that people are ALWAYS going to judge you, are going to talk behind your back and so on, because this is how humans are! It basically in our nature to do that, whether we what it or not, those words are still going to come out. So what's to do then?
       Me, as a teenager, I grew up basically alone...I was judged, pointed fingers at and all the humiliating package. My level of self confidence was rock-bottom and no one was there to teach me how to deal with that. So I just grew up like that. But it seems that as you grow older, you start to see things more clear and everything makes sense. And I found ways to change the old shy self. The answer to curing low self confidence is through TRAINING. "I'm not going to that job interview; I know already I'm gonna get rejected", "I'm not going to speak with that guy, he'll get scared of how I look". So basically we're afraid of loosing, failing. But guess what, learning how to loose, you win a bigger prize: a chance to achieve perfection. Loosing makes one win another chance of trying and succeeding.
       So people, please stop saying "I can't", "It's impossible", "nope, that's not for me", "I'm too ugly for him/her"; it's kinda time to change you vocabulary into "I can", "why not", "let's give it a shot", "hell yeah I'm gonna talk to him/her".There may be times when you just want to quit, give it all up, but that's a stupid action, something a coward would do, so forget it !
       Don't take life as an easy thing, it's not supposed to be easy. When you step outside your house, leave your shyness and insecurity at home, and go out there and rock ! Tall, small, fat, slim, black, yellow, white, WHO CARES !! You are you, you know yourself, other's opinions are just some useless babbles.
Take some time and just look into the mirror, tell yourself EVERY TIME that you can and you will do it, and there you go, self confidence restored. Buuuut, you don't achieve it over night.It might take some time, so hang in there.
       You are your own source of strength, so be confident and trust yourself!

Car keys and wallet !

      Articles over articles, shows over shows, everywhere it's full of people that value money and things. Open a newspaper or a magazine and there has to be an article about how I don't know who got engaged with a millionaire 20 years older than him or her. Same goes if you switch on the TV ( thank God I don't oped that thing ). Once I went out with a friend and it happened I just got to know a guy that I found interesting. Guess what was the first question that popped out of her mouth..."Is he rich? Does he have a car?" So, it did not matter to her what he was studying, if he was cute or not, if he was someone that you could speak to relaxed. No....those were insignificant and it shocked me. I know the society that we live in, but I didn't know that the way of thinking was so rotten.
      Males and females seek in the opposite sex different things. For women, money and for men, outside beauty. "25 year old woman has married 65 year old millionaire out of love". It sure is love, I mean who wouldn't marry gramps out of love for a truck load of money? As time passed, women have developed the ability to get through life wisely and easy, that's why I suppose they're attracted to money. And men...well they have that ability as well, but they're to lazy to develop it or they don't really encounter occasions to take advantage of. But they play their cards well as well. Young and rich and good-looking to top it...that guy will play his cards very well and always get what he wants, when he wants and from whom he wants. And because women are suckers for money they'll get caught and guess who'll be crying later?
      Going after material things, judging a person by his bank account or by the looks is a stupid thing to do. Those things could fade in an instant and all that "honey, I married you out of love" bullsh*t" will no longer exist. If your partner is smart, knows his way through life, you can open any subject of discussion and talk about it, he can manage alone a problem, has a sense of humor and is fun to hang out with, why the hell do you have to look at the bank account, the type of car he is driving or the way his body looks? Are we really that superficial? People, everything fades away !!! Beauty, money, that awesome car, everything disappears.
      What's the advantage of going out with a guy that has his wallet full of credit cards, buys you the expensive stuff you want, but doesn't have the brain to manage a problem or talk about elaborate things? I'm still trying to figure out what some girls think when they do that....
Same goes for a guy...that beauty of your girlfriend is going to fade, kilograms are going to add to that slender body and the poor girl will be dumped ( I've been a witness to a situation like this one ). The girl may be smart and fun and all the package, but the as*hole wants a model, and if possible, with no brain so he can play how he wants.
      "I make memories, I value what's on the inside, I value the person, that persons feelings", this is what I want to hear. Being yourself, not changing for the sake of the one next to you. Be special, like what is worth liking and soon the one that is a match for you and values the same things with appear.

How long is forever?

     In just 60 seconds from a video, I learned a life lesson that I've completely forgotten. A guy was asked how long was forever, since he made a promise with his friends that he'll be there, with them, together forever. The answer was simple but stroke a cord in my heart. " The fate of being together, and cherishing each other...I don't know how long is forever, but I only know to cherish every single moment with you guys by my side. I am satisfied like this. The moments with you guys being by my side it is enough to cherish every single moment. There will be times when it will be tiring, but just bear with it a little and it will be over. There isn't anything much about it...we are a family "
     Those words came out with so much sincerity and kindness, that they brought tears in my eyes instantly. It may seem little to some, but to find someone that actually cherishes every single moment in life with his loved ones, encouraging and supporting them is not something to just pass by.
     We find ourselves tired sometimes, trying to run away from our problems, but there is always that one friend that can stop you and encourage you if you let them. But in those moments our anger and tiredness levels are so high that we reject any act of kindness from that friend. Now I learned that that a friend can't be there for you if you start acting like that...he can get tired as well. So just dealing with it and let him/her help you, will be best for both sides. When a friend puts his head on your shoulder, don't feel pressured or annoyed, be proud that he chose you to support him, he chose you to show his weak side because he trusts you, and he indirectly asks for your help.
     Recently I feel like I've passed through time without remembering to cherish what I have...a life, friends, a family, a roof above my head and so many more. I just lived forgetting all these stuff. But It only took 60 seconds of my life to remember that I'm not alone and that every single second should be cherished...we only live once, we only have one chance, one shot at life. So be strong, be a support for others, a source of power and strength, of unlimited will, and it will all come back at you.
And to answer the question...forever is NOW !!

Eyes, nose, lips

You left me paralyzed.
No cure, no rehab for me.
Funny that you got the nerve to keep askin' me how I've been.
You're the victor in this pageantry.
But the only trophy you deserve...
catastrophe.
I'd rather we be dead to each other.
No eulogies said for each other.
No rest in peace's.
The memory's got my chest in pieces.

I'm praying that your eyes are the first to go.
The way they looked when you smiled,
The way they opened and closed.
Then your nose...
Every single breath against my neck.
And then your lips.
Every empty promise made and said.

Please fade.
Fade to black..
But the nightmares come back.

Because your eyes, nose, lips-
every look and every breath, every kiss
still got me dyin'
You still got me cryin'...

Forget a promenade.
Let's juggernaut down memory lane.
Leave no thought alive.
To the slaughterhouse I'm takin' my pain.
It's time to severe my brain from my heart and soul.
My knees are burnin' hot
but God is cold.
I've been told, one day you'll know,
too much of Heaven's a sin.

After the show it's only hell that it brings.
So take it slow and let time heal everything.
They say that time flies,but you keep breaking it's wings.

You wish me well,
I wish you hell.

I never want to look into your eyes again.
No, I never wanna hear you breathe again.
Let me go.
Baby, tell me this is the end.

Fade out.


The lyrics of this track are just too amazing to let them not posted.
credits: Tablo & Taeyang

Say goodbye

You know I am nothing without you

To forget you, I try to meet someone

But it doesn’t work as it sounds
I try to sleep but I keep thinking about you as the sun rises

The pictures lying on that table
I realize there is only me whom to depend on, looking at them
I pretend nothing is wrong but it’s my rationalization

I don`t wanna say goodbye love.
When the cold wind blows, I get tears thinking about you
Do not run away over again.

We were good, we were happy
You said this is the last love
 If you know I am waiting for you until I die
Will you come back?

In case your phone number has changed
I go in and out to your mini-homepage
Many times a day
It looks like a breakup with my head
But it doesn’t with my mind
I know it won’t change...
Yes, to be honest, I got tired a bit
You came and went away without your presence known
The relationship between you and me gets lighter than dusts

I promise not to say any more
I am waiting for you like this, in front of your place
It is my last time like this…

I cried every day (I just cried)
Like this day
Baby will you tell me it is a lie?

Why do you keep appearing in my dream
Why are you bothering me over again
 If you know I am waiting for you until I die
Will you come back?

Indifference

     The road of our life is paved with many rocks, pointy, sharp, that hurt us with every step we take. Some of us decide to stop because it hurts too much and some go on and on, until the end, dealing with the pain with every step they take. It's not all just like that...there is also a smooth path that seems too good to be true. When it appears,  happiness becomes overwhelming and we forget about what road we had until then. This is life; not supposed to be easy. But it becomes a little easier when you don't walk alone and have someone to lean on when the pain is too big.
     If someone you love walks by your side, you forget about everything and just walk...the road feels like beach sand. But what if someone you love is there, by your side, but doesn't love you back? How do you go on when you feel every particle of sand like a knife?
     The opposite of love is not hate, is indifference. And I have to admit, I would rather be hated than treated with indifference by the one I care about. When scumbag Cupid shoots only one arrow, you find yourself in the worst situation. Even though you go through all emotions when you confess your love, some receive only a "Well thanks, that's nice xD" and some a smile and the rest is indifference.
     You find yourself new hobbies, like things you never thought you would ever like, behave the way you would never have thought you would, just because he likes it, and what do you receive in return? Indifference.
     And since women when they love think with their heart, they go all in and do everything just to please that one special person and forget about themselves. It's like they don't matter anymore.
     Being indifferent to your feelings and in the same time being next to you, is like...whaaat?!!! It's a no leave but no take. It's in between (ish). Even though your eyes sparkle when the one you love is next to you, when we wake up to reality and realize it was only true for a minute, it gets kind of depressive.
     What's to do? Nothing, in this case. Just go on with life, and wait for that one person that can really make you change your mind and bring you happiness again. Don't know when and how, or how long, but he's/she's out there somewhere( far away, in another galaxy >.<) .
 Just keep the faith !!!

The person who once loved me

Are you well? Is everything okay?
I long for your nagging that I was so sick of;
You used to only know me alone,
But are you doing well without me?

I regret thousands of times a day,
I live every day as I realize that you’re not here.
It’s right for me to leave for you, but
I guess I can’t live as I forget you

The person who used to love me is not by my side but
I still can’t forget you, I can’t forget you.
If only I can see you at least once more,
If only I can see you, if only I can see you again

t hurts so much and I can’t forget it
The complaints that you made several times a day
You looking at me as you smiled in my arms
Your two eyes on the day we broke up

Because you were there, I could always smile
Because you were there, I was the happiest
Through you, my life was livable
The person who I used to love so much.






credits: Heo Gak