What is a first love to a man? Is is something that isn't easily folded? Is it something that you want to unfold again after folding it ? Even if there is fold mark, do you not care ?
It differs on the situation. If it folds in one go, then it's a thank you. If you open it up again, then it's lingering attachment. If you open it twice then it's sadness. If you open it three times, it's pain. After unfolding it over and over again and it becomes ragged, that's how the heart gets ripped. And when ripped, you just deal with it until you've gone numb. That's how it is.
Men usually are the stronger sex, so when it comes to these kind of situations, they usually keep it all in, and start breaking into small pieces on the inside, while on the outside they act all calm and smiley. When a man gets his heart broken he indeed becomes numb to everything. A woman passes through this stage as hard but at least they have the capacity to recover a bit. Women tend to let it all out, cry until there's no more tears left; but of course there some tough girls out there that prefer to keep it low and deal with it in silence. Both sexes are different, but sometimes the roles switch. But in most cases it happens like above.
The rather rare case in that a man starts to love profoundly, then he gets his heart broken is like breaking a piece a glass and then smashing it with a hammer. They become indifferent and silent. The numbness in their heart gets to everyone. They no longer have the eagerness to feel...until they find the girl that manages to take care of their heart.
Well, I must say you have a pretty clear view on the situation. I have been in a situation pretty similar with the one you have just described, and it feels just like that. You stop caring. You start thinking about anything else. Or, at least you try to. You pick up new hobbies, you learn new things, just so you can try and forget about the pain. And, after some time, you do forget about the pain. It stops hurting. But you continue not to care, because that's what you've been doing for a lot of time, and you don't know any better.
ReplyDeleteAnd then a girl shows up that is just, right. A girl that can see right through your careless attitude and your „no fucks given” lifestyle. A girl that tells you you're not really all that „tough” as you let other people think. Someone who takes care of all of your wounds. Someone you trust.
Or, at least I found someone like that. Feels good. Really good...
Really glad that you found someone like that ! And I'm glad to see that to some extent I get how a man feels from this point of view.
ReplyDeleteI can only speak for myself, really. Even though I am a man, each person handles their stuff differently. I've known guys that after a heartbreak went on as many one night stands and drunken fantasies as they could, just so that they could somehow either get rid of the pain or just feel as they've „returned the favor” to the person that broke their heart. Mind you, it ain't pretty. I guess the „keeping it all in” thing comes from the stigma behind showing any type of softness in your heart. As a man, you're supposed to be big, burly, tough, relentless, you must be able to chop down trees and kill bears with your bare hands. But, with that, you lose humanity. You become a testosterone-fueled machine that knows to eat, sleep and procreate. And look tough while doing it. What if I wanna like art?
DeleteMe, I started to simply not care. I thought that that was that and if there is a person out there for me, I may never find it, so why bother? Might as well carry on with my life, right? And, I got lucky.
I totally agree with you. And I'm glad things are working out just fine for you. Missed a comment from you .
DeleteYeah, I haven't been all that active on blogs the past few months. But, I am back, and I'll start writing and reading more. Figured I'd start with you, while I'm at it ^^.
Delete